Spanking: Useful
or Harmful?
The question of spanking has become quite controversial
in recent years. Is it an effective method if discipline? Is it ineffective
and harmful to the child? Does it border on child abuse? Statistics tell
us that over 80% of parents continue to use spanking as a disciplinary
measure (Epstein), but “experts” would tell us that spanking
is not a viable or useful way to correct children and can even have adverse
effects on the child’s development and psychological well-being.
I believe that spanking, while perhaps not the most desirable
form of discipline, can be used successfully and is sometimes necessary.
THE ARGUMENTS AGAINST SPANKING
One of the most pervasive arguments against spanking is that if you
hit a child, all he will learn is that he can take care of his problems
by hitting other people. A related argument is that since parents only
resort to spanking when they come to the end of their rope and are frustrated
and angry—thus equating angry with spanking in the child’s
mind. Many claim that spanking is not effective as discipline, being merely
a punishment with no thought for correcting behaviour. There have been
studies on the psychological state of adults who had been spanked as adolescents
and teenagers showing that teens who are spanked have a greater tendency
toward suicide and depression than those who are not. Finally, it is thought
that repeated spankings will made a child immune to their effect.
To sum up, the basic argument against spanking is that it is punishment
with no view to correct, often causing psychological trauma and increased
aggression.
SOLUTIONS TO THE ARGUMENTS
Certainly, any or all of these things could happen if spanking is used
improperly. However, I could argue that other disciplines could have the
same effects if used improperly. The most important thing with any sort
of discipline is not whether to use it, but how to use it (Family, 1996).
For discipline to be effective, there must be a loving bond between parent
and child, and the child must know that the punishment is for his own
good.
Most of the arguments seem to be based on a reactive type of spanking—the
parent has become frustrated and is lashing out at his child in anger.
However, this is not the case with proper and effective discipline. A
proper use of discipline involves the parents setting out precise guidelines
with definite punishments if the rules are disobeyed. Now the child has
no excuse: He knew what was expected of him, and what would happen if
he willfully did not fulfill the expectations. After a spanking, he ought
to be able to tell his parents what he did to be punished, and how to
avoid such punishment in the future. This does not necessarily mean that
he will understand why the action was wrong.
Spanking is effective mainly in younger children who do not yet have
the reasoning ability to understand why a certain action is wrong or dangerous.
For example, the whining child in the toy store does not understand that
there is a limited money supply, that the toy he wants is inferior to
other toys, and cannot reason through the pros and cons of why he should
or should not get the toy. He only knows he wants it, and whines. Often
the only way to get this child’s attention is to swat him lightly
on the rear. He will then understand that whining is undesirable, even
if he does not understand all the implications of why it is undesirable.
As soon as a child is able to make reasonable moral and situational decisions,
spanking should cease.
Children can become immune to nearly every form of punishment, not just
spanking. Parents will probably get the best results from using a variety
of disciplinary tactics, and using them sparingly. There are many times
that no real discipline is needed, just distraction or redirection. Spanking,
in particular, should be reserved for the most willful and defiant of
actions, when the child is knowingly and purposefully disobeying previously
stated rules (such as no whining).
If used properly, spanking can be instructive. A spanking immediately
administered to a specific disobedience, along with discussion, explanation,
and love will tell a child that “Mommy really, really does not want
you to do that, and will go to great costs to you and herself to keep
you from harm.” Spanking should be followed by a hug and expressions
of love. The phrase “this hurts me more than it hurts you”
has been overused and trivialized to the point that we do not hardly believe
it anymore, but this is what should be conveyed to a child undergoing
discipline.
Ultimately, discipline should be used to “train up a child in
the way he should go,”
not to increase a parent’s sense of his own power. The point of
discipline is to keep children from physical harm and to teach him character
traits that will help him make his way in the world. Some children are
naturally submissive and learn quickly what is expected of them and comply.
However, others are naturally rebellious and look for any opportunity
to flout instructions. It is a lot easier to train children at these young
ages, and whatever they learn about authority at this age is likely to
influence them for their entire lives.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
I would describe my mom as a permissive parent, my dad as an authoritative
parent, and myself as fairly compliant child. I always knew what they
wanted me to do, but I also knew that I could get around mom if I wanted.
Nothing got past my dad. He is very loving, and not demanding, but when
he wants something done, you had better do it. His credo has always been
that “The first time disobedience happens, it’s your fault
[speaking to a child]. The second time, it’s my fault.”
I do not think the second time ever happened.
I can only remember being spanked by him once, but it made a great impression
on me. We had been in church, and I had repeatedly ignored and even purposefully
flouted his requests for me to behave properly. It was not so much that
I had done something bad, but that I was flouting his authority over me.
If this authority of parent over child is not established in early ages,
it will never be established, and this can cause problems for the child
when he grows up and begins to work and establish relationships with other
people. The argument that spanking decreases respect for the parent is
baloney. I respect, and love, my father much more than I would have if
he had allowed me to do whatever I wanted. And I do not think that I am
the only one. I am certain that most people would tell you the same thing
about their parents.
IN CONCLUSION (ALMOST)
I agree that there can be problems with spanking. But I would argue,
if I had the time, that all forms of discipline could be problematic if
taken to extremes. Spanking is a viable method of correction, if used
properly. I respect my parents for being willing to spank me when I needed
it, and I feel that my character is stronger because I was occasionally
forced to obey through spanking. I intend to use spanking when I have
children if it becomes necessary, though I do not condone the overuse
of it. Again, some children will not need it at all, and if some parents
would rather not spank, that is all right with me. It should be up to
the discretion of the parent whether his child needs a spanking. Do not
take away my right to bring my child up “in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
THE CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE
I have already quoted Proverbs 22:6, and Proverbs 13:24 tells us that
“he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful
to discipline him.” Probably “rod” is meant to refer
to any disciplinary tactic, but it is unavoidable that the word “rod”
literally means a stick. This is specifically some sort of beating or
spanking which is commanded by God as a means of discipline. God is the
ultimate parent, and He is no wimp when it comes to discipline. He is
merciful, as parents should be, and allows us great freedom; but He does
chastise us His children when nothing else will work. However, He cannot
be doing it to punish us, for Christ has already taken the punishment
by dying on the cross. The only explanation is that God’s loving
discipline of His children, though often quite harsh, is done not to punish
but to correct us and teach us to be obedient children. If we should not
imitate God, whom should we imitate?
WORKS CONSULTED
Family Research Council. (1996). "Spare the Rod? New Research Challenges
Spanking Critics". Family Policy. Retrieved April 10, 2000
from the World Wide Web: <www.frc.org/fampol/fp96/jpa.html> [page
no longer available]
Epstein, Bruce A., M.D. "Let’s Stop Spanking Our Children".
St Petersburg Times. Retrieved April 10, 2000 from the World
Wide Web: <http://www.allkids.org/Epstein/Articles/Spanking.html>
[page no longer available]
Griffith, Linda Lewis. (1996). "Why You Should Say ‘No’
To Corporal Punishment: It Doesn’t Work". The Standard-Times.
Retrieved April 10, 2000 from the World Wide Web: <www.s-t.com/daily/05-96/05-27/96/c02li091.htm>
[page no longer available]
This paper originated as a paper for General Psychology, Missouri
Baptist College, Spring, 2000.
©2000 by Jandy Stone
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